Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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