just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He passed out mid-signature
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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