I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I can text with my tongue
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
