This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
