She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I've blown a few things in my day
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
