Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
