I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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