You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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