did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
