I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
