You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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