some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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