But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
