now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
