butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
