The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
How does one acquire holy water?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
