Come see our sink grown plant.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
