Don't you send me to vm
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
