Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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