dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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