I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
