looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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