He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
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