I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
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thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
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He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches