i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.