There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
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Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
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let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF