I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located