Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test