Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
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I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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