hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
my liver is dry heaving
Randomize
