Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize