The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
