My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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