you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
