I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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