even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
