Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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