Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
