I want to walk on stilts...naked
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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