In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
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the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
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Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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