all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize