How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
