I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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