I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
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