i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
