well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
