You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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