Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
