hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
