Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
