Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
