apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
NoShamevember. You game?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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