Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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