I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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