Grow some girl-balls and come out already
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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