my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
