Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
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