Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
