I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
