After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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