i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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