If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
