Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
We got so high we made milksteak
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
