that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
